Tuesday, March 23, 2010

ME Me me

As part of my Being a Better Me plan I am going to be a self-centered chick this year! And while that may sound like a bad thing...I truly believe this will be a great thing for me. I am constantly comparing myself to other people, being competitive when there is no need and generally tolerate the drama of others. That is all going to stop now!

The biggest thing this year is that I do not want anyone else's drama bringing me down. I feel like since I've been in Singapore I have been caught up in this he said/she said/ i don't like these people but you can't tell them drama. And I also believe that I fuel this drama myself, as people tend to feel comfortable enough around me to share their feelings on just about everything and I am usually the one validating their feelings or giving them a boost of self confidence when they need it. I admit it; I am a total gossiper. BUT I do not want that in my life anymore...I am focusing on me and my issues this year so I am sorry but I do not have time for yours. If you are looking for juicy dirt, a self esteem boost, or an ally in your frenemy drama, I am no longer your go to girl! Save your drama for someone else because I don't have the energy to pretend to care anymore.

And I am trying my best to fit in in a working culture that is the total opposite of what I am used to...so I want to apologize in advance if I am not too interested in your career issues and achievements at the moment. I am doing my best to convince myself that this MAJOR change/sacrifice in career contentment is worth it...so trying to prop you up on your bad job days or hearing about how great your perfect job is not going to help my self brainwashing.

I also do not want to tempt myself into being my competitive self. I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I can't be perfect and not all employers are going to love me. I just need to worry about myself and do my job as well as I can! Lucky for me Asia is not big on firing unless you do something AWFUL. I do not not to focus on what everyone else is doing in their program and just focus on my development (however little or big that may be). It is ok if I don't speak French, or have business cards, or have projects,  or a close bond with the big boss, because I am getting almost exactly what I asked for in this opportunity. And I am doing the best that I can, so I am pretty sure that is all that matters.

Like this quote I have always been self-centered, but for this year only my radius of self-centricness is growing. I hope you can see that this is a good thing, because I definitely think it is. I promise when I am done in Singapore I will be back to my normal self, competiveness and gossip included! But until next year I hope you will accept my new attitude on life (translation: me, myself and I).


Flightless said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Flightless said...

Hey Stephanie I miss you! I'm glad to read that you are taking more control to be happier and grow as a person. There is someone we know who is not doing that but I'll save the gossip for some other time. Some advice: "Je ne se pas" (Jzuh-neh-seh-pah) means "I don't know" in French (I said it frequently when called on in 9th grade French). I can totally help you design awesome business cards (company called Moo makes super cool looking ones - better quality than the ones I got). :oD Hope to talk to you soon!

S said...

spinach! i miss you and our childhood days soooo much! i do want to hear gossip about people at home though!! its so hard being here when everyone is a "new" friend you know? like everyone ive been friends with at home has been a friend for yeeeeears especially you!